Disappointment in Detroit

And so this year our trip began with an epic fail.  I was super excited about my plan to start our vacation off with a stop in Detroit.  Usually we avoid Detroit and instead head to Northern Michigan by way of Ann Arbor.  In fact I’ve always felt like people in my family make a rather big deal about the importance of avoiding Detroit, which naturally made me want to see it even more.  We couldn’t leave until Friday afternoon because of the girls’ camp performance and so it made total sense (to me only) to drive halfway Friday afternoon and then finish the drive to Walloon Lake on Saturday.  This would give us (me) the opportunity to check out the Detroit Institute of Arts.  In my head this idea was perfect because Detroit is obviously a ghost town and there might not be much art left if they at some point start selling it off to pay the city’s debts.

I booked our hotel room at the Country Inn and Suites through Priceline and somehow convinced Dan this was going to be great.  I also got Gabby pumped up for the art museum.  Friday after camp we set off later than expected, which is pretty much standard for our road trips.  We had a healthy packed lunch for the car, so that we could justify a dinner at a restaurant featured on Man vs. Food.  We opted for a place called Mallie’s, which has the world’s largest burger.  I was more excited about the pull tabs being sold in machines than I was about the food.  The food wasn’t bad.  I just really love pulltabs!

Our hotel was clean enough.  The area was interesting.  It was pretty much how I imagined Detroit.  I kind of expected whatever the urban industrial version of tumbleweeds are (hubcaps?) to be rolling down the street.  We took our time with free breakfast in the morning since the amazing art museum wouldn’t be open until 10:00.  As we pulled up to the museum ten minutes before opening I realized I would soon be admitting defeat.  The line was around the block.  Apparently people do in fact travel to Detroit.  The fact that the museum was in the final days of it’s Kahlo/Rivera special exhibit probably didn’t help me.  We made an effort to go to the museum.  We parked.  We walked to the line.  We got to the doors.  I realized that this was not going to be a happy experience for anyone and threw in the towel.  Luckily we had a back up plan: Canada!!!!!!  I had brought passports just in case.

In order to not have this stop in Detroit be a total loss, we decided to fit in a different country.  This was also a horrible plan.  We made it pretty quickly into Canada, but sadly they don’t even stamp passports.  The novelty of Windsor is sort of limited once you’re old enough to legally drink and gamble in your native country.  We really had no plan beyond saying we went to Canada.  So the day would not be a total loss we stopped by the duty free shop and loaded up on whiskey.  We were literally in Canada for about 15 minutes.  We then got to wait in the line to return to the US, which took more like an hour.  This was almost as painful as customs and security lines in the airport, where despite my annoyance with the employees I feel compelled to kiss ass and make small talk so that they don’t feel compelled to further ruin my day.

And so the first 24 hours of our vacation was successfully flushed down the toilet.

The sign through the window says Windsor.  This is our only proof they've been to Canada.

Should we decide to do this craziness again I'll be finding the bridge.  The only thing worse than worrying your going to fall to your death in a river is worrying the river is going to come bursting through the sides of the tunnel.

Pure misery.